Rep. Cynthia Davis

The Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services issued a press release calling for a summer food program to help insure that low-income children receive a nutritious meal. In her online newsletter, Missouri state representative Cynthia Davis (R-19th District) commented on the free meal program for the poor:

Anyone under 18 can be eligible?  Can’t they get a job during the summer by the time they are 16?  Hunger can be a positive motivator.   What is wrong with the idea of getting a job so you can get better meals? Tip: If you work for McDonald’s, they will feed you for free during your break.

Jesus sells kosher corn dogs

Yeah, take that slackers. Get a job! Now, it didn’t take long before Keith Olbermann declared Representative Davis the “Worst Person in the World” and Stephen Colbert awarded Davis a “Tip of the Hat.” Indeed, Davis has been blasted for her comments all over the internets. But let’s not be too hasty in our ire of Ms. Davis’ simplistic and moronic commentary. There is new evidence that may absolve the representative.

News Flash!

Earlier this week, archeologists working outside Jerusalem discovered, what they believe, is the only existing photograph of Jesus taken just before he delivered the Sermon on the Mount. The photograph on the right dispels clearly the myth that Jesus fed the multitude with free fish sandwiches as depicted in the Gospel of Matthew. On the contrary, just before taking his position on a large rock to preach, Jesus was working for a fast-food chain hawking kosher corn dogs, curly fries and Mountain Dew.

The new photographic evidence confirms Jesus was no slacker looking for handouts or providing them. This is the Jesus worshiped at the First Church of Free Markets where, rumor has it, Representative Davis attends. Researchers are continuing their search for evidence that Jesus opposed a federal minimum wage, welfare programs and any other form of entitlement.

So, before condemning Rep. Davis, think about Jesus working for Caleb’s Corn Dog Castle and pull yourself up by your sandal straps and get a job.

One final thing, perhaps Cynthia Davis and her church members should ponder on this:

He who gives to the poor will lack nothing,
but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses. -Proverbs 28:27